Sunday, December 27, 2015

To Believe or Not to Believe

This is not a religious argument. Let me say that first. This post is more about life in general. For example, I saw a quote that read, “There’s a man out there searching for everything you’re giving to a man who isn’t man enough to appreciate it.” Believe or not believe? Not believe. There is a cliché that goes, “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” Believe or not believe? Not believe. My aunt always taught me, “We always have choices in life.” Believe or not believe? Believe.

Society and religion would have us believe in “shoulds” - where we should be in our lives at our respective ages or what we should be doing or feeling. Whereas, the universe shows us, thereby making us believe in, what the reality is. For example, society would have us believe that we should not have sex on the first date. Believe or not believe? Not believe; although I personally agree, I believe people need to do whatever works for them. Religion would have us believe that all our prayers will be answered and life will, ultimately, be all good. Believe or not believe? Not believe. The God I serve often says “No” to my prayers; and sometimes is completely silent and doesn’t answer either way. In addition, my life experience has been one of constant struggle; so, I do not believe that, ultimately, it will be all good.

So, I have begun to take a deep, introspective look at myself and my life and have asked myself, “What do I believe and not believe based on my own experience?” Beyond my fundamental belief that “tomorrow is not promised,” I believe:
  •        There is a Higher Power ultimately in control of my life plan; however, He gives me freedom of choice.
  •      I am probably too much to handle for most men; so I will probably be single for the rest of my life.
  •        True happiness is more than just being content with life as it is; being content, however, may be as good as it gets for some people.
  •        Intimate relationships take a hell of a lot more than just love.
  •        It takes tremendous courage to open yourself up to love again after you’ve been hurt, especially if you’ve been hurt repeatedly.
  •        People who are angry all the time CHOOSE to be that way and they drain the life out of themselves and everyone around them.
  •        We should implement mandatory sterilization or require licensure for parenting.
  •        I am absolutely fulfilling my calling in life.
  •        Most people hide their true authentic self out of fear of being judged, disliked, or rejected.
  •        Little things go a long way in both friendships and intimate relationships.

I do not believe:
  •        People truly appreciate a giving spirit.
  •        A man will ever value my true authentic self with all its intensity, depth, and truth.
  •        The majority of people genuinely love themselves and enjoy their own company.
  •        I can depend on anyone to provide my needs (emotional, physical, spiritual, or mental) except me.
  •        I ask for too much in an intimate relationship.
  •        I failed as a parent.
  •        The next chapter of my life is filled with fireworks and monumental occasions, necessarily.
  •        People define “good enough” for themselves based on what they believe about themselves.
  •        Any relationship can survive without intimacy [not sex] and a willingness to be vulnerable.
  •        Anyone is ever too busy to answer a text message.


So, my question to you, my readers, is: what do you believe and not believe – based on your own experience – not based on what society or religion tells you? Let me know your thoughts.