Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done…
Having faith in God’s will is easier said than done at times. We say it, and pray it, as though it is an easy thing to do, however. God’s will and purpose for our lives is not always what we see for ourselves. His vision for our life is often much bigger than what we could ever even imagine. I have seen God’s vision for my life and it scares the hell out of me!
Glory belongs to God, whose power, is at work in us. By this power he can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20 GW)
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give to you the future you hope for. (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG)
What a lot of people don’t know about me is that I am truly an introvert. I have consistently tested out as an introvert on every personality test I have ever taken – and I have probably taken close to 20 different tests as part of my doctoral program and post-doctoral research. People think I am an extrovert because I am constantly interacting with people. The truth is that is exhausting for me. Being an introvert doesn’t mean that you cannot be extroverted. It simply means that you gain energy from time alone; and therefore, being extroverted takes a lot of energy. I much prefer to be in the background rather than the center of attention.
Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God’s will in Christ Jesus that you do this. (1 Thessalonians 5:18 GW)
Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants – what is good, pleasing, and perfect. (Romans 12:2 GW)
So, when God’s vision for my life includes facilitating huge workshops, book signings, interviews, and other things that put me “out there” as a leader in my career field, I get very anxious. One would think that my anxiety stems from a fear of failure. It is actually the exact opposite. My anxiety stems from a fear of success because of the huge responsibility I feel comes with that success.
Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more. (Luke 12:48 ESV)
So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust Him. He knows what He’s doing, and He’ll keep on doing it. (1Peter 4:19 MSG)
God has given me an incredible gift of discernment. He has also walked with me, or maybe carried me, through several life experiences that sent me to the depths of Hell so that I could understand people’s most painful journeys from personal experience – not just textbooks and research. When God called me to be a therapist, I believe He entrusted me with my clients’ hearts and spirits. And to me, that is a huge responsibility which I take very seriously. But God has expanded my territory beyond the walls of my practice and my clients. I have gotten feedback from my book, Soul Graffiti: What If Your Mother (or Father) Was Wrong?, like:
• Your book changed my life.
• I cried all the way through your book because I felt like someone finally understood my pain.
• Your book made me want to be a better parent.
• Your book gave me hope and helped me to heal.
After God saved me from my last suicide attempt, I knew He had a tremendous purpose for my life. I knew I was supposed to walk life’s hardest journeys with people because I knew how daunting it was to battle depression alone. So, I became a therapist to answer my calling. Then, God told me to go into private practice. And I told God He had the wrong number. LOL. I disobeyed His instructions for three years before, begrudgingly, “giving in.”
Why do you call me Lord but don’t do what I tell you? (Luke 6:46 GW)
But He’s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don’t take yourself too seriously – take God seriously. (Micah 6:8 MSG)
I laugh when I look back on July 2010. I called myself “challenging” God; saying:
Fine! Since You insist on me opening this private practice, I will do it. But, You watch; it’s going to fail! I don’t have the money to start a private practice. I haven’t been licensed long enough to get on any insurance panels. It takes time build a clientele.
You get the picture. So, long story short, I opened my private practice 60 days later with no debt, two weeks worth of clients, and being on every major insurance panel for which I applied. To this day, I cannot tell you where the money came from to pay for all the furniture, office equipment and supplies, deposits, and rent. I know God intervened with the insurance panels because you are supposed to be fully licensed for 2 years before you can get on the panels – I had only been fully licensed for 2 months.
You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. (Proverbs 19:21 NLT)
Point out the road I must travel; I’m all ears, all eyes before you. Teach me how to live to please You, because You’re my God. (Psalms 143:8, 10 MSG)
For the past 6 years, God has continued to grow my practice by leaps and bounds. But, I was only doing it part-time so I could keep my day job for the security of a steady paycheck and health insurance. In July, against my better judgement, I accepted a promotion at my full-time job and had to cut back on my appointment slots. Yet, the referrals kept coming steadily. I was getting so many referrals that I had a waiting list. Now, while some might think that’s a good thing, it made my heart sad. I felt like I was failing God because I was not doing what He called me to do. I was not fulfilling my purpose. Every day, I would pray for God to either stop sending referrals or make a way for me to see all the clients He was sending my way. On February 3rd, He made it very clear that it was tine to move on.
For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. (1Peter 2:15 NIV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)
I thought I would be freaking out about leaving my full-time job, after 16 years to run my practice full-time. I thought I would be in a chronic state of panic trying to figure out how to survive without a steady paycheck. I thought it would take so long to build up my clientele that I might end up homeless. For the first week, I thought maybe I was in shock because I was not panicking and I was not afraid. Maybe it would hit me in the second week, I thought. But in week two, I actually felt better, stronger, and more confident that everything would be okay. So, week three would have to be the breakdown, right? At some point, I thought, I had to be overcome with fear and doubt. So, week three came; no fear followed. And going into week 4, in addition to another fully booked week of clients, I have confirmed two equine therapy workshops for veterans in Idaho & Ohio, AND I am preparing to negotiate a contract with a large company to facilitate corporate coaching with their executive and senior leadership following a very difficult merger.
And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:27-28 ESV)
I am leaving you with a gift – peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27 NLT)
I know this is only the beginning of this chapter in my life. I will have challenges to face and my faith will be tested. God may even go silent at times; but, I have learned that the teacher is always silent during a test. God has never turned His back on me and I know He has not brought me this far to leave me now. God has kept His promises to me even when I was outside of His will and He has not missed a beat since I stepped out Omni faith and submitted to His will for my life.
I take joy in doing Your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart. (Psalms 40:8 NLT)
Now may the God of peace – who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with His blood – may He equip you with all you need for doing His will. May He produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him. All glory to Him forever and ever! Amen. (Hebrews 13:20-21 NLT)
