We seem to have reduced people to bodies and money. People have become incredibly manipulative and self-serving and it is SAD. Men and women have reduced each other to how much money we spend on someone, what someone can do for us or how much we can get out of someone, and how willing we are to give up sex!
Being back in the dating world has opened my eyes to this sad truth more than I care to admit. I have met men who feel like it's totally okay to ask very personal questions within the first twenty minutes of the first conversation. It seems to be okay for both men AND women to date people who already have a significant other or spouse. Now, I'm NOT judging anyone; but personally, I'm not willing to reduce myself to "a booty call."
Let me give you some examples from my experiences & feel free to share some examples of your own. I have heard women say, "All a man can do for me is pay my bills!" I have heard of women who KNOW that "their man" has other girlfriends and they just kinda "wait their turn." Yuck! I actually had a guy ask me, during our very first conversation, "So, do you like to use toys when you have sex?" Are you kidding me?! When I told another guy that I had a boyfriend, he responded, "Well, that's his problem not mine." Of course, that was very disrespectful to my boyfriend; but it was even more disrespectful to me. To me, the second man was implying that he believed I would be willing to lie to my boyfriend, cheat on him, keep secrets from him, and give my body to someone for whom I had no feelings! WRONG!
My friend, David, explained it to me like this: men approach me because of how I look - not caring if I have a brain in my head. Once they find out that I'm intelligent and articulate, they still want to have sex with me and will still try to have sex with me. If they can hold a conversation, they think they may be able to persuade me. If they can't hold a conversation, they may still ask anyway, in the hopes that I'm "easy" & will say yes regardless. However, they will ALL try.
So, I want to say something to men and women alike. PLEASE VALUE THE TEMPLE WITH WHICH GOD BLESSED YOU AND STOP REDUCING YOUR WORTH TO YOUR GENITALIA AND YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS!
Personally, I can pay my own bills and want a man who pays his own. If we end up together, there's no way, short of catastrophe, that we'll ever be broke. If one of us gets sick, the other will be able to hold it down.
Realistically, you can generate your own orgasm by yourself. You don't NEED a significant other if that's your only goal. Personally, I believe that if the two of you share a truly deep, intimate love, you will feel a closeness with or without an orgasm. The orgasm simply becomes the cherry on top of the sundae. In my world, a real man can stimulate my mind and make my body tingle without ever touching me. In my world, a real woman makes you want more than her body - she makes you crave her smile, the way she looks at you, the air she breathes - her overall spirit and mere presence.
You can't say you want to be in a committed relationship, to find a real man or a real woman, or that you want to be in love with one person for the rest of your life; then settle for less than that. I didn't get a lot of second dates when I said "NO" to sex; but that's quite alright. The man I love never even has to ask because the answer is ALWAYS "YES!" You see, I REFUSE to ever settle for less than what I want or less than I deserve. Don't you do it either.
If all both of you want is a booty call, cool. If you say you want more, though, don't just ask for it - DEMAND IT because you're worth it.
