Sex. Yes, that is the topic of this particular blog post. I felt it was important because no one seems to want to talk about it. Why? In 2013, are we still trying to act like sex is still taboo? Why? Sex is a natural part of life that which can either enhance or break down a relationship. I have a book in my office titled The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl's Sex and it is wonderful! It saddens me, though, that we still differentiate between "bad girls" and "good girls." It amazes me that there are still people out there who believe that women do not want sex like men do. God gave women a clitoris for one reason and one reason only - PLEASURE. He is a wonderful God! Sexual pleasure is discussed openly in the Bible - see Song of Songs or Song of Solomon, depending on which version you are reading. Yet, we continue to act like it is an off-limits discussion that we can only have in quiet whispers behind closed doors. NOT!
Women and Sex
No, we are not all prudes. We have a healthy sexual appetite just like you. What men do not seem to remember, or know, is that women's libido can be affected by emotional closeness. It is not always about the quantity of sex but the quality of the relationship and the sex in that relationship. Sometimes, it is really simply a matter of feeling close and connected to your partner. Sometimes, we have the same raw desire that men have and just want to "get it on." When we are angry, hurt, or feeling unappreciated or devalued, you can best believe that sex is the last thing on our minds. Women are not as complicated as you may think. Texting sweet messages throughout the day, coming home with a single rose, bathing the kids or doing the dishes while we get a bubble bath will make all the difference in the world. If you don't like your body, Ladies, that is something you need to work on because putting yourself down is very unattractive.
Men and Sex
Now, this is a topic that I cannot speak to firsthand, obviously, because I am not a man. I do not believe that all men are horny dogs. I do not believe that all men try to conquer women sexually. I do believe that there are men out there who like to make love - softly and gently - just as much as they want to get raunchy and "just hit it." What I do know is that men are visually stimulated. So, Ladies, you will have to forgo the head scarf or ponytail and sweats sometimes in exchange for some sexy lingerie. Learn how to pole dance or how to do something visual that can entice and excite your partner. Men have egos as well and they like to have their egos stroked. So, by making them feel good about themselves instead of emasculating them, you may get more sex than you ever imagined.
Questions
I do still have some questions that maybe you, my audience, can help me answer:
1. As much as I know men enjoy having their egos stroked, why are we, women, still faking orgasms instead of simply telling our partner what we want and what feels good?
2. What is the fascination some men have with degrading women during sex - calling them bitches, whores, and sluts - to get off? What is that really about?
3. What has happened to the love, romance, and intimacy that used to be called "making love" versus "having sex?" Why do we no longer focus on connecting with each other through lovemaking versus just "getting our rocks off?"
