Do you believe in fairy tales? As children, we are brought up hearing fairytales
and short stories about bears that talk, little girls who fall down rabbit holes,
Prince charming, and many other magical stories. Little girls, more than little
boys, are led to believe that love ends in "happily ever after."
Little boys are taught that they will be able to ride in on their white horse, sweep
the Princess off her feet, and they too will live "happily ever
after." We read the stories and watch the Disney movies and get a
terrifically warm feeling inside. We grow up believing, or at least hoping,
that we will live a similar fairytale.
Then, life happens. We learn that love doesn't come from a
kiss that wakes you. Love doesn't come in the form of a glass slipper. Love often
presents itself like a sheep in wolf’s clothing. At other times, love may
present as the beast that turns into a prince. Lately, it has saddened me to
watch women spinning their wheels looking for the prince underneath the form of
the beast. My best friend, Lisa, said, "We [women] are taught to see the
potential inside [a man] and to nurture that potential. Unfortunately, we don't
know when to give up." So, in the midst of our nurturing and caring and
"loving them through," we lose ourselves. Once we forget who we are and what really
matters, resentment begins to fester. At
whom can we legitimately direct that resentment, however? Giving up your dreams, your wants, your
desires, and your needs is a choice.
Saying, “no more,” “enough is enough,” or “I want more” is a choice as
well.
You see, people will only do to you what you allow them to
do to you. People will only respect your
boundaries and meet your standards if you stand firm on them. Everyone has their limits. Knowing your limits is important. Self-awareness will help you better relate to
your significant other. In understanding
who you are, what you deserve, and what you expect, you are better able to
determine how you will and will not allow yourself to be treated. You are also able to determine how much you
will give. If your love tank is not
being filled, though, you will have nothing to give. So, soak up all the love you can today
because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.
Am I saying that love is not real? Absolutely not. I still believe in love. I believe in its purity, its softness, its
gentleness. I believe that falling in
love can be amazing and romantic. I believe that true
love can take your breath away, render you speechless, make you laugh, make you smile, and even make
you cry. True love is strong and fragile
at the same time. It is deep without drowning you. It is hot, fiery passion and cool, serene calm. For me, love is red; smells like roses; tastes like champagne & white chocolate covered strawberries; sounds like passionately quiet whispers right close to my ear; feels like a dip in the hot springs at the base of a Costa Rican volcano; has a shape that conforms to wrap around my heart; and can be seen whenever my man and I are together - whether holding hands as we walk on the beach, cuddled up together watching the sunset, or sharing our morning coffee before a busy day.
When two people share
a mutual love for one another, they are kind to one another. They are gentle with each other’s hearts. They pay attention to each other’s needs,
wants, and desires. They create a space
of safety and longing – a space in which they exist together because they want
to be together. They wake up asking themselves, "What can I do to make my love happy today?"
What’s deeper than loving someone and being loved in return? Knowing that the person you’re in love with
WANTS to love you back. And how will you
know that he or she WANTS to love you? You
will observe it through his or her actions towards you. You will see it in the way he or she looks at
you. You will feel it in your belly when
he or she makes you laugh. You will feel the warm electricity on your skin when the two of you touch.
It will almost hurt to say goodbye.
That’s when you know that you WANT to love someone or that someone WANTS
to love you in return. You may long for
them all day. You may dream about them
at night. It may seem like life doesn’t
slow down until you are in their arms – protected from pain, from judgment,
from loneliness. But, most importantly,
when you are in you lover’s arms, you are still you. You have not had to compromise who you are to
be there, to be accepted, to be valued, to be loved. All you have to do to receive true love is to
breathe and be open to embrace it.
This is not a fairytale.
This kind of love has to exist somewhere in this universe. It is not loud or overbearing. It can come from any man or woman – perhaps one
that you didn’t even expect. It is not
forceful and doesn’t have to be created.
It gets you excited and makes you hot.
This kind of love simply has to be experienced and appreciated. You never have to question TRUE LOVE because you will hear it said and see it demonstrated; but even beyond that, you will feel it in the depths of your soul - like the rhythmic synthesis of two breaths and two hearts during tantric lovemaking. I hope
we all get to experience that kind of love at least once before we leave this
planet.
