When Is Enough Enough?

Okay.  So, let’s talk about when enough is enough.  You’ve been married over 30 years and have a spouse who has told you repeatedly that he or she has never been in love with you and is not in love with you now; yet, you stay married and keep asking, “Do you love me?”  When is enough enough?

Your spouse has been unfaithful repeatedly throughout your marriage.  You have forgiven him or her over and over.  You have gone to both pastoral counseling and you have seen an outside marriage counselor.  You finally tell your spouse that one more incidence of infidelity will be the end of your marriage.  Your spouse cheats again.  When is enough enough?

Your teenager has always been a fairly good student; then, suddenly he or she starts to fail classes.  You are contacted by the high school and told that your teenager has racked up 26 absences from school.  You take away all privileges and luxuries, but your teenager continues to act out.  One night, the local police ring your doorbell and have your teenager in tow.  He or she has several charges that land him or her in the juvenile system on probation.  When is enough enough?

You and your spouse no longer talk.  Every conversation turns into an argument.  Both of you feel like you can do nothing right for the other.  There is no more conversation.  There is no more laughter.  There is no more closeness.  There is no more intimacy.  You exist like two strangers who share a house.  Yet, you stay.  When is enough enough?

You are over 30 and still working for hourly pay.  You beat yourself up daily saying, “I should have finished college.”  “I need to go back to school.”  “I would be so much happier if I had a career instead of just a job.”  Yet, you let everyone else’s needs come before yours.  You come up with every excuse in the book as to why you cannot go back to school.  You find time and money to make everything else happen in your life; but you cannot find a way to get back to school.  You stay stuck, moving nowhere, wishing your life was better.  When is enough enough?

I have seen all these scenarios in some form or fashion throughout my counseling career.  It saddens me every time I see someone putting up with crap with which they do not have to deal.  It saddens me to see people with so much potential just give in to life’s pitfalls and choose not to do anything about it.  All these scenarios, like all scenarios in life, come with a choice to be made.  No matter what the situation, we ALWAYS have a choice.  Even if someone is holding a gun to your head, you have a choice to run, scream, cry, wet yourself, or pray; but YOU HAVE A CHOICE.  I wish more people, especially women, would choose to take their power back and make positive choices for their lives; rather than giving their power away and allowing others to determine their destiny.

So, when is enough enough?  When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.  However, only YOU know when YOU have reached that point.  When you finally reach your breaking point, you will either get busy living your life or continue to watch it wash out to sea like an ebbing tide.