Last month, the death of my uncle encouraged me to take a life inventory and I shared with you some of the lessons I had learned about life, death, dying, and love. I challenged each of you to either get busy living or get busy dying. I chose to get busy living; and with that, continued to take stock of my own life and the lessons I continue to learn.
From the time we are born until the day we die, we are always learning something. We have to learn how to walk, how to talk, and how to eat. We got to elementary school and we learn how to read, write, and do arithmetic. We get to high school and start learning about dating and how to establish and maintain interpersonal relationships. In high school, we also learn about teamwork and discipline. We get to college and learn how to put everything that we have learned in the first quarter of our life into action on our own. Then, there's the option of grad school... but we won't even go there.
At some point, we get out into the world. Some will drop out of high school and face life with only a few years of education and life experiences. Some will go to the military instead of college and learn life from a completely different perspective. Some of us will face life with all of our education and 20+ years of life experience. Yet, the learning never ends. We may have to learn to be a spouse or life partner. We may have to learn to be a good employee or manager. We may have to learn to be a homeowner. Every day we are faced with opportunities to learn - to learn about a different culture, conflict resolution, creating balance in our life, and many more things.
As I thought about this blog entry, I tried to think about the the top ten lessons that I have learned from life. The first thing that popped into my head was a poem my mother taught me as a teenager. It's called "My Wage" by Jessie B. Rittenhouse and it goes like this:
I bargained with life for a penny and life would pay no more
However I begged at evening when I counted my scanty store
For life is a just employer; he gives you what you ask
But once you have set the wages, why, you must bear the task
I worked for a menial's hire, only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have paid.
From that poem, I learned to ask life for what I wanted and to always expect the most out of myself and my life. I have learned other things throughout my life as well. I have learned:
1. Life is what you make it. With each new day comes the choice to be happy, sad, angry, miserable, grateful, etc.
2. Smiling can change both the way you feel and the way other people feel about you.
3. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us; so experience everything life has to offer each day - love, laughter, pain, sorrow, etc. - as though it was your last.
4. Stress can really kill you; so, try to relax as often as possible.
5. Blood is thicker than water most of the time; but your blood can also be toxic. Therefore, it is okay to protect, or separate, yourself from family members just like you would with a toxic friendship.
6. There will be times in life when people do not meet our expectations; and we may feel disappointed, betrayed, or angry because they didn't do, or say, what we expected. In other words, don't always expect people to act like you.
7. It is super okay for you to have whatever dreams, wishes, and desires you want for your own life even when other people say you shouldn't or you can't.
8. Prayer changes things.
9. Real love doesn't consistently hurt you emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. Real love enhances the positive things you believe about yourself and helps you heal the negatives.
10. If your self-worth depends on external sources, your self-worth will forever be questionable.
11. No one knows everything. If someone claims to, or acts as though they do, know everything, run! There is always more to learn.
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